My friend and co-worker, Sarah, is getting married June 18th. A few friends from work and I will be attending, each bringing a spouse or a date. I was determined to find a "plus one" to bring with me instead of going stag, or bringing a girl with me like I always have for these occasions (last wedding I went with my sister). I've been to two proms, numerous weddings and parties, and have yet to be able to slow dance with.. well... a boyfriend. Most people have done that by the time the graduate High School... I get my Masters degree in September.. go figure. I wasn't going to let this chance pass me by.
I refused to play the heterosexual couple.. even if it was just for companionship. I'm so tired of doing that for events. I guess that's always been my way of promoting equal right.. simply living, speaking and acting just as anyone else does. A few of my gay friends offered to go with me, but that could be touchy... I didn't want any confusion over what the evening would be.. I didn't want to end the night thinking it was just a wedding dinner, and them thinking it was a first date. Naw.. too tricky... I wasn't going there.
I'm actually not a fan of attending weddings. Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not anti-wedding... they just depress me a little. "We" still don't have the legal right to marry in New York state and a gay wedding would never be blessed in the faith I believe and participate in. So naturally, weddings stir up a lot of emotions for me.
I've always figured that if I wanted to meet someone, I had to make the effort. The saying "you'll get someone when you're not looking" has never made sense to me. He's not going to ring my door bell and ask me out.. I have to mingle, meet people, start conversations.. you know... like everyone else does. I've done the online thing... and it's the same people every day... I've gone to the bars, but always unsuccessful. It's pretty damn frustrating. I think we should go back to caveman days -- if you saw someone you liked, you hit them over the head and took them home. Where's my baseball bat??
I thought perhaps I have overly high standards. I like a guy who is secure in himself and his identity, has goals and can carry a conversation. Physically, I not looking for perfection.. just the guy next door.... the geeky cute, pasty white guy, who is a little on the larger side.. like myself. Oddly enough, these guys are hard to find.. and even harder to land a date with. I've tried hanging out with the quiet ones, the fixer-uppers and the ones that are cute if I squint hard enough... but I learned when buying my first car never to settle... you'll be miserable if you do... so I've taken that advice to heart when looking for a relationship.
With the wedding fast approaching, and my response card due back.. I have decided to indicate that I will be going alone. I'll still have a good time with my friends, but at the end of the day, it's just another event where there was no one there just for me.