Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Classifieds

Keeping an eye open for that illusive boy friend material is like sifting through the classifieds for a used car. At first, some of the ads looks REALLY good.. nice pics, right price, and good description. Then you look at the car, or the ass hole trying to sell it to you, and you either walk away slowly, or run like hell. This is the case with men.

Some of the guys I've been meeting just make me wonder what the hell western New York puts in their water. It has to be the water.. people can't be born that stupid and idiotic can they??

I think I'm going to start suing guys for false advertising. If you have a serious problem making semi-intelligent conversation, and don't have enough spine in you to stand behind your opinions or beliefs, please say so in your profile so it saves me the gas to come meet you in person... and then want to stab you with a fork.

I've learned not to settle for a car ever again.. and I sure as hell am not going to settle for a man... I'll simply abduct one. :)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

LAI 514- Lang, Cogn, and Writing

I started my second summer grad class Monday. As with the start of every class or semester, I was nervous. You never know who you will encounter in these classes, or what the professor will be like. So far, so good. This professor seems awesome. She has a great sense of humor, and reminds me a lot of one of one of my favorite cousins, Danielle. It also seems as if it will be less work than the previous class which is ending this week.

It dawned on my today that I haven't done much with my summer, and with July approaching, I don't see much more happening. The family is heading to Pennsylvania for our annual family reunion. This will be the third year in a row I haven't been able to go. In fact, I haven't been there since Grandma was alive... when she would make the trip to go "home" as she always referred to it, no matter how many years had passed since she moved to Buffalo. I can't imagine going down without her and Gramps being there, and I was somewhat thankful to have the excuse of school, work, and taking care of Toby to keep me at home. While I look forward to the quietness of having the house to myself, there is a part of me that wishes I was going. There are so many relatives I would like to spend time with.. and some elderly ones who might not be there next year. There is a part of me that is glad I'm safe from facing another place in the world I'd be expecting to see Grams, only to feel the loss again. But I know, I'm delaying the inevitable.

My 25th Birthday is fast approaching.. one week from Saturday (July 7th) as a matter of fact. So far, my friend Jason and his boyfriend Nick are treating me to the taste of Buffalo. I was told all I have to do is show up, have fun, and get fat. Since I'm already fat, and generally have fun with those two, I'm thinking it shall be an easy task to accomplish. My friends rock.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Christina Aguilera - Candyman

Ok, this is not an "artist" I would normally listen to, nor are the lyrics something I'd want to be singing while my mother was around.. but I just love this video, and have the song stuck in my head. Awesome music, but iffy lyrics (for me). I have to say though... the army boys.. mmmm... nice!!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Gay Marriage

As a small project for my class, we were told to create a one page zine to bring in. I did mine on the topic of gay marriage, since June is pride month. It was easy for me to write on the subject, but I was disappointed that I had to keep it to a page in length... I have so much to say on the topic.

I earned an excellent grade on it, and it sparked some pleasant and encouraging discussion from classmates, and the professor. I figured I would post it here and share it with you - if you are interested.

If homosexuals were allowed to marry, would divorce go up? In all honesty, most likely... but hey, heterosexuals are very commitment oriented these days anyway. They, like most homos seem to only like commitment when they are single, and forget about it when they meet someone. Ugh.. there are days I would love to do the research and interviews to write a paper on this topic.

I Now Pronounce Thee: “Unable to Wed” - The Issue of Gay Marriage

Do you remember joking around on the play ground when you were in elementary school? How often did the saying, “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it??” come up between you and your friends? Even from a young age, love and marriage were linked in your minds, even if you were not contemplating the complexity of those two terms, “love” and “marriage”. What you did know was that when two people love each other, marriage was the natural outcome.

Gay men and women grew up with the same ideas in their minds. While the exact age in which a man or woman fully becomes aware of his or her homosexuality differs for each person, it can be safe to say that each of them gave some thought to the idea of marriage. Whether it was the little boy or girl dreaming of their wedding day after being ring-bearer or flower girl in a relative’s wedding, or flat out refusing to get married because “boys are icky”, they at least acknowledged that they had a choice in the matter.

Perhaps not until they get into High School does it become clear to gay and lesbian youth that when it comes to marriage, they do not have the choice. The choice as to whether or not they will marry was made for them by Congress, State Legislators, Religious Officials, or the overly conservative voter living down the street.

The argument has been made that the very term “marriage” has always been defined as a covenant between a man and a woman. Some people point to various religious texts to prove their points, others to legal terminology. Does the conflict center around terminology alone? What if we called it something else, but gave gays and lesbians the same legal rights and social status? Again, the overwhelming chorus from “the powers that be” is “NO!”.

The United States was founded on the basic freedoms of “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”. Gays and lesbians should have the same rights as every other American, not being singled out and marginalized because they differ from the majority. Backed by noted and respected psychologists as well as sociologists from around the globe, gays and lesbians are pleading for their cases to be heard. They ask for a chance to lead “normal” lives with those they love, raise a family together, and try to obtain the dream of “happily ever after” promised to them in the story books from their youth.

I find it almost laughable at the arguments made to “protect the sanctity of marriage”. Divorce among heterosexual couples is on the rise, single parent families are growing, and choosing co-habitation instead of getting married at all has become common place. Where in this picture does allowing gay men and women the right to marry make things worse? If anything, it seems to me as if they value marriage more because they have to fight for it, and realize what a precious choice it is indeed, whereas many heterosexuals take the matter for granted.

Whatever term used to describe it, consenting, loving adults should have the ability to share their lives, families, incomes, and rights, the same way as everyone else in this country can, regardless of sexual orientation. As stated by the comedian Wanda Sykes on the issue of gay marriage: How does what people do in their own bedroom effect YOUR marriage? If two guys are living happily together, is your marriage going to fall apart? I say, if you want to protect marriage, then you should outlaw divorce!

For further information on this topic, please visit The Human Rights Campaign Website at:

Thursday, June 21, 2007

How to be a Good Housewife

My group is using this article as part of a class we are giving on how gender roles have changed over time (if they have really changed at all). I got such a laugh out of this.. as did my mother and father. My Mom NEVER did any of this, and my Dad knew that if he expected it, he'd be in for a serious ass whoopin'. The sad thing is.. I'd follow this thing pretty closely with a boy friend or husband... with the exceptions that I would expect him to take me out to dinner once in a while, and if we had kids and I wanted it quiet, I'd duct tape their mouths shut (ok.. I'm not that paternal).

Keep in mind, this was actually published in a Home Economics textbook from 1954!!

Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.
Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

I might just live....

For the past three days I have mega sick. A fever on and off, hot and cold flashes, dizziness, swollen tonsils and sore throat, and aching muscles. Needless to say... it hasn't been fun.

Today is the first day I've felt some improvement. The dizziness is still there, but thankfully the fever is gone. I went to the doc, and got a prescription for my throat. My doctor wants me to go to an ear, nose, and throat specialist to see about having my tonsils removed. Yea, I'm not looking forward to that. I have to keep school in mind too... I have class all summer, then a full schedule in the fall. I just can't miss classes, so if it's going to happen, it has to occur in the small window between sessions. ugh.

Friday, June 15, 2007

I really like this photo...

I had this picture taken at work today, and we all laughed our asses off over it... just wanted to share. :-)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Glow little glow worm...

There are so few things in this world as enjoyable as sitting on the back patio in my rocking chair, listening to good music and watching the last rays of sunlight give way to the blanket of night. As I sat there, I noticed something out the corner of my eye on the brick walkway near the fountain. I didn't have my glasses on, and from what I could make out, it looked life a leaf.. until it began to hop, and I knew it was a small toad... making it's way across the yard.

It was so nice and peaceful out there on the patio, with a warm summer breeze, the light of a distant street lamp, and the soft white glow of the solar lite in my small garden. As I rocked in my chair glancing around at the stillness of the new nightfall, I noticed the unmistakable glimmer of a firefly.... the first one I had seen this season. Instantly I was transported back in time to days of playing hide and seek while at the family reunion with my brother and cousins.... catching fireflies in transparent plastic cups in the lot across the street from Pat and Danny's house, the home my Grandma grew up in. Indeed life was simpler back then, but small moments like tonight reminded me of the awesomeness that can be had in there here and now. The beauty that is the world around us.

Here are the lyrics of the song I happened to be listening to... one of my favorite songs of all times!!

Dimming of the Day - Richard & Linda Thompson

This old house is falling down around my ears
I'm drowning in a river of my tears
When all my will is gone you hold me sway
I need you at the dimming of the day

You pull me like the moon pulls on the tide
You know just where I keep my better side

What days have come to keep us far apart
A broken promise or a broken heart
Now all the bonnie birds have wheeled away
I need you at the dimming of the day

Come the night you're only what I want
Come the night you could be my confident

I see you on the street in company
Why don't you come and ease your mind with me
I'm living for the night we steal away
I need you at the dimming of the day
I need you at the dimming of the day

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Allen Town Art Fest.

Sunday, Bobby invited me to go with him to a cook out in Allen-Town, where the annual art festival is held. I had never gone to the art fest, and each year swore I would go, but because of work, never got the opportunity. So, I jumped at the chance to go with Bob.

It was a nice sunny day, but on the hot side. The cook out was a lot of fun, and I met up with some old acquaintances there from when I used to frequent Thursdays at the Square downtown... many moons ago now it seems. I also ran into some friends and former co-workers who were at the art fest. Over all, I wasn't that impressed at what the vendors had to offer, though in retrospect I only did sample a small part of what was there. It was still fun to walk around and people watch though. I did see a few things of interest, but didn't like the price tags. I kept staring at some water fountains made by a couple of lesbians, but if I brought ANOTHER fountain into this house.. I'd need build a boat.

All in all, it was a lot of fun... and I'm very proud of myself for not buying a damn thing. Let's hear it for will power!! Woot! Woot!

Bob and I then had dinner a La Nova's pizzeria on the West Side of Buffalo. That was one of the best subs I've had in a LONG time. Good food.. bad neighborhood. LOL

Friday, June 8, 2007

"Why you all up in my business?"

As my good friend Renita would say "Why you all up in my Kool-aide when you don't even know the flavor?"

I was talking with Jason today and it both hit us how much gay people talk about each other. The references we give when a name is mentioned is incredible.. because usually they aren't good ones. Oddly enough, they usually aren't even first hand information "Well I heard from so and so that he's got serious issues." Well that's nice.. don't we all. Seems we have no problem talking about people we either don't know, or don't know well. There in lies the ties that make up the gay "community".

Oh, I fully admit, I'm just as bad as the next homo when it comes to this... and I have yet to meet ANYONE who can do otherwise. Maybe we all do it, but perhaps it's the degree to which we do it that makes the difference, I just don't know.

I met a guy from online yesterday, and we had a good time together. Seems really nice, we have a lot in common, etc. Odd though how when I have mentioned his name to some people, I get an odd look, or the stories start of "What they've heard". Am I jaded? Yes. Bitter? Oh hell yea.. but when asked for references about my ex's (and oddly enough, I have been), I am learning to say "the best thing you can do is find out for yourself". After all, when I first started going with Jeff, I got an ear full on him... and when I confronted him about it he asked me to let HIM show me the type of man he is... which he did. LOL People behave differently around different people... something I just need to keep in mind.

I can only imagine what people say when my name is mentioned... Oh, to be a fly on the wall sometimes. Ha Ha Ha!

Saturday, June 2, 2007

A Walmart Wedding

This evening I went to the wedding reception of my co-worker's daughter (who also works at our store). It was held at a local fire hall here in NT. It's wasn't anything fancy, but we all had a damn good time. There was a big long table filled with current and former walmart associates. We never stopped laughing!! I even got to goof around with some of the lady's husbands, as you can see in the one pic.

I can't remember the last time I had so much fun!!! I needed that!!
(click on the pictures to make the larger)