Time

Part of me has been looking at completing my masters work as a way of delaying the inevitable. Moving away. With each new day though, I feel further and further behind.. still working retail, and not working my "big boy job"... still living under my parent's roof.

While I'm not excited about the idea of moving to a new location and having to get to know the area and meeting all new people, maybe it will be the best thing for me. I do love the area of WNY, and there are plenty of neigborhoods I have dreamed of living in. What has always kept me here is my family and friends, whom I couldn't bare to leave. Most of those ties have been cut by time however. My grandparents were my biggest anchor, and they are all gone. My dearest friend Anne is pushing 80, and suffers from numerous health problems... my last real anchor here... the last on the list of people I absolutely won't leave behind.

As for the rest of my family, it is sad to say, they are becoming more and more irrelevant to me with each passing day. I see my parents more as authoritative landlords instead of people I want to sit and spend time with... especially my father who's need to control is ever present. Having them at the other end of a phone might be all I need. I still stand firm in the idea that "family is a bunch of strangers who happen to be related."

I'm eager to start my life.. MY life.. on my own terms, and maybe that means a fresh start in a new location. Who knows, maybe I will leave UB and do my masters somewhere else and get the move out of the way earlier. Things have to change. I'm tired of standing still.