With each passing day I become more and more disappointed in my "fellow" gay men. Functioning in the Catholic social networks and communities that I do, I have heard, seen, and endured a lot of anti-gay criticism. I've heard how we are corrupt, immoral, sinful, hateful, sex driven.. etc etc. It hurts because I know we're not all like that, not to any worse extent that the average heterosexual person. Lately though, I seem to have been bombarded with examples of ammunition for those advocating the "immorality" of the gay man.
There is a scene from Will and Grace I viewed recently on a re-run of the show in which a conversation between Jack and a newly outted gay man occurs. Jack is trying to teach this guy how to dress gay, act gay, and think gay. The conversation went something like this: "Is this all gay men care about? Faces and abs?" "No, just abs... the face can be covered up by a cute hat or a leather hood." It is a funny line, but it's not very far from the overwhelming image gay men portray. It's all about looks.. who has them, who doesn't, who's dating them, and who's sleeping with them.
Every time I turn around, there are those same guys who seem to change "boyfriends" more frequently than I change my socks. Couples secretly cheating on their partners when they aren't looking, and swearing their fidelity to their faces. The common "home wrecker" who justifies his actions by telling himself "I didn't really want to do it, but he came onto me." or "If he didn't cheat with me, it would have just been someone else." No one stands up and takes responsibility for their own actions.
Go to a gay bar sometime and just observe the interaction with people. It's comical to see the diversity of low lives one will encounter. The shot boy walking around in nothing but tighty-whities, the "monogamous" couple secretly hitting on other people, and the ever present plethora of chicken hawks -- 40 some year old men (or older) looking to score a barely legal to mid twenty something kid for a quick fuck.
Recently I went out for a drink with a friend. A friend of his came to our table, and we were talking. Suddenly, my outfit was the topic of conversation.. and apparently the concept of personal space does not apply in a gay bar. This guy thought it was perfectly acceptable to unbotton my shirt repeatedly, under the guise of telling me I needed to "show off more of my body", until he grabbed my stomach and told me, "You need to work on that". I was wearing a cap, and this guy wasn't a hat person, so I was lectured for a good twenty minutes on why it's not attractive for a guy to have a cap on. And of course.. my glasses had to go, and I needed to switch to contacts.. because you know, they're not at all expensive or a pain in the ass. What this guy was doing was attempting to tear me down, and build me up in his own image of what a guy should look like. An attribute that is all too common in the gay world. It is perfectly acceptable to tell people how to dress and how to act in the name of vanity. Gee, I wonder why the stereotype of the fashion police fag still lingers on??
The last and final group I'll mention here is by far the most common. The liar. If I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say "I want a monogamous relationship. I'd never cheat. I want that special someone. I'm a good guy." I'd be rich. These are such common pick up lines, lines even I have fallen for before. That's what a guy says when he wants someone around for a while until he find someone better. The liar is one who will say and do anything to get you home with him, and then will drop you as soon as someone "better" looking comes along.. and then will feed that line of bull to the new guy and spin his web all over again.
Can people really say they blame heterosexuals for viewing the homosexual male as a degenerate? Sometimes, I whole heartedly agree, with few notable exceptions.