Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

An Evening with Quentin Crisp....

When the movie Milk came out a few years ago, I had no intention of going to see it.  I really had no idea what it was about, and I certainly had no idea who Mr. Harvey Milk was.  I wasn't even aware it had anything to do with gay rights... I just knew it was a political movie starring Sean Penn... who looked anything but sexy in that role.

It wasn't until it was being released on DVD that I became aware of the story line and decided to watch the film.. which has since been added to my ever growing list of amazing movies.  Since then, I have also researched the life of Harvey Milk via the Internet to learn more about this amazing man and what he stood for.

Recently I discovered a man who was a famous - he would say INFAMOUS - gay icon of the twentieth century, Mr. Quentin Crisp.

If you're under the age of 35, you may not have ever heard his name before.  I know I hadn't.  Since I rarely watch television anymore... the Netflix database has become quite good at choosing movies and programs I would find interesting.  And so "it" decided I might like a movie called An Englishman in New York.

The image for the movie depicts a thin old man (British actor John Hurt) wearing an over-sized floppy fedora, with a scarf tied around his neck -- with makeup on.  "Ugh, another movie depicting gays as feminine." was my first reaction.  True, I love films such as "Too Wong Foo - Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar", but I'm kind of over the whole "gay = wants to be a woman" representation.  But hey, the Netflix database can't be wrong.  So I watched the film.

Within five minutes I was hooked.  It was one of those movies that pulled me in and I got lost in the storyline.  I didn't want it to end - in fact, I have re-watched it three times since.

An Englishman in New York is about the later years of the life of author and public speaker, Mr. Quentin Crisp.   I couldn't help but be captivated by the life of this simple man who lived life to be himself.

He spoke often about developing one's own "style" - the way in which we live our lives and present ourselves to the world.  For Mr. Crisp (at least by my interpretation), how we view ourselves and present ourselves to others is far more important than the opinions of "society".  Our "style" is our lifelong self development of image and personality.. and finding happiness in one's self rather than being so reliant on others.

Again, this is what I got out of it.

Mr. Crisp wrote an autobiography of his earlier life - growing up in extremely homophobic Great Britain - of the 1930s ... which was also made into a movie in the 1970s called, The Naked Civil Servant.  He presented himself openly as a homosexual - wearing makeup, coloring his hair and painting his nails in order to expose the world to the reality that homosexuals do exist and are active parts of the world at large.  For this, he was often beaten on the streets and even arrested for simply being himself - exhibiting his own style in a world where deviation from the norm was not only frowned upon, but even illegal.

For most such a life may have caused a person to retreat from the world and shut down... not Quentin Crisp.  He continued to live his life following his own sense of style and self worth.  He did not turn angry or bitter - but shared his experiences and insights with others.. with anyone who would listen.

Coming to the United States in the late 1970's, he fell in love with NYC and its sense of individuality.  He quickly felt right at home and developed a new life as a renowned public speaker - author - actor - and gay icon (though I'm sure he might cringe at the latter).  His interviews and talks are available on youtube.com - and he still has quite a devoted audience, some 13 years after his death.

While I may not agree with his EVERY word, I think he had some keen insights on humanity - especially the value of ones own self and nurturing what makes one unique and happy - drawing identity from our personalities rather than only what we do for a living or the society in which we live. -- And naturally, I adore his whit and sarcasm.

His entire life, his telephone number and address were made public in the local telephone book - the latter portion of his life - the Manhattan Directory.  People were always welcomed to call him and chat - or send him letters to which he would generally reply with some sort of response.  He thrived on human interaction and kindness.  It's a shame he wasn't alive now... I would have definitely called him to say "hello"!


Some quotes from Mr. Crisp:


Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.


It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.


Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.  It's cheaper.


The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.


The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.


There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dust doesn't get any worse.


Never tell your mother anything; whatever you say will one day be used against you.

The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it.

Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically - for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist - but then what isn't?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Catching Up

It's been quite a while since my last posting.  I wish I could say I've been off on wonderful adventures or on an amazing vacation, but that's sooooo not the truth.  Dare to dream though!

I recently transferred from my job in the Photo Center at my store to a position as Training Coordinator in personnel.  It was a very slight pay increase, but it promised me full time hours.  I would love to tell you what my new job functions are, but to be honest, after a little over two weeks of working in the office (though some of that time I was covering in my old department) I don't feel much closer to knowing my position.

Our store is in the process of moving as well as taking on over 200 new employees over the next two months.  Naturally, personnel is right in the middle of all this.  Talk about trial by fire!  Some times I get so overwhelmed by people walking into the office and telling me what they need done that I feel like my head is going to explode.  Not exactly the best time to learn whole new job functions - computer systems (which are archaic... one program is DOS based.. DOS BASED!! Who uses DOS anymore???) - and routine.  My "training" has consisted of learning on the go and trying to take massive amounts of notes to try and get me by.

So far, I've been helping input information into the computer for new hires, calling applicants and setting up appointments for interviews.  That's what my day to day job has consisted of - that and being a personal secretary to a new manager with the company who seems to think I work only for them.  So basically when our personnel director (who is AMAZING) goes out of town soon for a week and I go to take over for her.. I'll know how to make phone calls.

It tickles me when managers ask me a question about how to do something and I have to tell them "I don't know".  They look at me like I'm nuts.. like when my job code changed, I magically absorbed all the knowledge of a person doing this job for years.  Granted, I'm learning from asking my NUMEROUS questions and attempting to learn the tasks asked of me... but it's not a practical or comfortable learning process.

I'm extremely thankful for many of my knowledgeable co-workers who have been helping me out, and taking time from their chaotic work loads to help show me the ropes and answer my questions.  It's so un-nerving not to know my routine and have all the answers.  I went from a job I could do in my sleep to finding myself asking for help every five minutes.  Thank God I have friends there!!  They've been wonderful and supportive!

Another job duty that I HAVE actually done is conducting new hire orientations.  These typically last about 7 hours per orientation.  It's set up very similar to following a classroom lesson plan.. something my teaching background has helped prepare me for - and is a job function that I'm hoping will look much better on my resume.

While doing the same lesson over and over again can get tedious, I do look forward to meeting and working with our new hires.  I know how intimidating it can be starting a new job (and I'm getting a dose of that again with this position) in a new place.. so I want to make their first day on the job as pleasant as possible.  What happens to them after orientation... that I'm a little concerned about.  I'm nervous they are going to get lost in the craziness of the move and hiring focus.

I've also been trying to keep in touch with my friend Anne who is suffering from brain cancer.  I went to see her for a brief visit last week and she looked horrible.  I can't believe all the weight she's lost... and her energy is all but gone.  It's so hard for me to watch her fade away like this - and know how much it hurts her to not be able to keep going.  She's a person who has always needed to be busy.. needed to be "doing", and now that's all gone.

As we were talking, she told me how worried she is about leaving her husband (who suffers from Alzheimer's) behind.  Through the 14 years I've known Anne.. and all the tragedy we've been through, I've never seen/heard her cry until now.  Her wish is not to miraculously get better and live forever, but to simply be able to care for her husband so he won't have to be alone - and live in a nursing home.  Even now, her main concern is the well being of those she loves.

Anne has always been a person who had such an enormous light inside her.. an incredible force of good in the world.  While she never went to college or had a profession as we know it today, she made a remarkable impact on the lives of everyone she has come into contact with.  There are often times I have wished I could give the energy and years I have left to people like that.. people who make a difference and have a light to share with others.  It almost seems wasted on me.


Thursday, December 31, 2009

Review of 2009

On New Year's Eve, I enjoy making a small list of the positives and negatives of the outgoing year. It makes for a nice reflection on the year which is about to leave us, and gives one something to ponder when anticipating the new year. I often remind myself that even though the negative events of the year may have brought some amount of pain, emotional and or physical, they give the opportunity for personal growth.

Negatives of 2009
  • Aunt Karen dies at the age of 53 from Multiple Symptom Atrophy
  • Flat tire on Niagara Falls Blvd.
  • Multiple Car repairs (general maintenance, but still costly)
  • One of my Fall courses was anything but enjoyable.
  • The death of an old friend of the family.
  • The summer course from HELL.
  • I couldn't even get ONE interview for a teaching position.
  • Anne breaking her pelvis and having to stay in the nursing home.
  • Another holiday season at Walmart (shudder)
  • The death of Mrs. Piskor
  • Dad struggling with his insurance to get his full comp money from disability (which is still going on)
  • My weight gain.
Positives of 2009
  • The birth of my nephew Collin
  • Getting a job as a substitute teacher in two districts to add to my teaching experience for my resume.
  • My Dad getting a good report from the heart doctor.
  • Getting to share another year with my best friend Anne.
  • Surviving another Walmart holiday thanks to some great friends/co-workers
  • The numerous happy hour visits to Q with Bob.
  • With the exception of some nagging colds (which is standard for me), I have been in good health, and have avoided the swine flu... even though there have been cases in the schools I was teaching in. Deo Gratias!
I am thankful for the graces I have received in this past year, and even during the rough times, I am thankful for the family and friends who helped get me through them. I look forward to 2010 and all the possibilities it holds!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Head. Wall. Ouch.


So what have I been up to? Let's see. I've been working quite a bit, and yet still in debt. Still subbing twice a week... and working the retail Hell that is Walmart.

Today was a nice cross section of my life as a whole. I woke up rather sick, and missed morning Mass, so went to Mass at the other Latin Mass location at 1:30pm (an example of just not being able to get moving). Started typing my 20 page paper on the National Association of Colored Women, and had to walk away after one and three quarters pages because I just don't have the stamina to sit and pound out a paper like I used to. I was rejected for a date, and failed to secure a sub position for tomorrow (this being Thanksgiving week, I only have two days to try and get sub work).

So I'm a wee bit frustrated with the current state of affairs... Normally I would have the holiday to look forward to, but dinner doesn't start until 6pm, and I have to be UP at 3am to work a 4-1pm shift on the worst day of the year... Black Friday.

Oh yes. Good times.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Respect

What gives anyone the right to talk to strangers the way they do? When did society become so uncharitable as to act like it does on an everyday basis? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" seems to be nothing more than a cliche.

Maybe it's road rage, a death in the family, loss of a job or sickness that has people in such a foul mood... giving them the excuse to curse and hollar at the cashier who is only trying to do his or her job and make a living. Maybe that person feels powerless in their own life and needs to dominate someone else, and put them down so that he or she can feel in control of life.... if only for a moment. Is this right? No.. it's not.

For all of societies advances in science and technology, our morality and compassion has taken a collective leap backwards. Perhaps someone, somewhere, will read this post or something like it in Dear Abby, and stop to give pause to reflect on their own actions. I hope that reflection is more than just a passing thought before returning to the callous world of human interaction.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Time Flies!

Wow.. I haven't updated this blog in a while!! I do apologize to the three people out there in cyber land who actually read this thing. I have been swamped with the summer grad class from hell.. so I have not had much time for leisure activities.

After almost a month's absence from blogging, I wish I had more exciting personal thing to write about, but alas, I don't. I have been sending out numerous resumes online to local school districts, but have yet to get a single interview. I even applied to two positions at my old high school, and had a friend of the person in charge of personnel put in a good word for me... still nothing. Ugh. It's a sad thing when your old alma mater doesn't even call!

I have become beyond burnt out with Walmart after 8 long years working retail with that company. Our customers are some of the trashiest people out there... who seem to delight in throwing red-neck hissie fits over the smallest matter simply because they feel they have the right to do so. I never saw my parents or grandparents treat store employees the way in which we are treated by customers every day... and it is a very sad commentary about society that things are becoming so bad. It started with the way people dressed, not caring how they looked or having any respect for their appearance, and now, it is no surprise, that their attitudes have become just as ugly. When the fall semester starts up and I begin subbing again, I will be dropping down to three days a week, 15 hours total. Anything beyond that, couple with the responsibilities of grad work and subbing, I would crack.

So that's it.. nothing really new. I hope to be back with more interesting news of soap box speeches in the near future. :)

Monday, June 29, 2009

Job Search

I have sent out numerous resumes to local districts, both electronically and through the mail. I haven't received so much as a "thanks but no thanks" form letter. I often wonder if the districts are even getting my electronic applications that they INSIST we use instead of sending through the mail or inquiring over the phone.

I'm starting to think I have a better chance of winning the lottery than I do getting a teaching job here in the area. SOMEONE HIRE ME!!!

Tuesday begins my summer course as I continue working for my graduate degree, part time. Whoop-de-freakin-do.