Sunday, October 5, 2008

This & That

Finally, we are getting that fall weather I look forward to all year round! It lasts such a short time in this region it seems. The temps are in the 50s, creeping down to the 40s at night. Perfect! There is also that welcomed autumn "smell". The cool crispness of the air mixed with the scent of fireplaces and bonfires.

I went for a long walk today, much longer than I had anticipated, and ended up walking down Old Falls Blvd. It is a beautiful street with many old homes on it. There were so many beautiful houses, more reminiscent of an old village rather than something you would expect to see in North Tonawanda. So much character in those older homes, with their frequently used front porches and quaint picket fences. I dreamt of living in them as I walked by... and pondered if I'll ever have the means to own one.

Aunt Karen was transferred to the hospital this week. The disease is accelerating again, and now she is unable to swallow anything. They had to put a feeding tube in her. It's so hard to see her now, she is a shadow of the woman she used to be. I look at her laying there, her face so rigid from the constant tension in her muscles, and her words barely audible. I try so hard to find a glimmer of the vibrant, out going and warm woman I knew all my life. Even her eyes seem so foreign to me... the excitement of life is gone, with fear and pain remaining.

I was able to reminisce with her for a while, with my mother "translating" what she says since it's very difficult to make out what she says these days. I got a few smiles out of her while I was there, but much of the time she is delusional and hallucinating various object and events. She'll be 52 years old in November... it's just not fair.

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