Memorias Defunctorum

"Memorias Defunctorum" - Remember the Dead.


The month of October brings with it all sorts of creepy symbolism that to our 21st century mind is nothing more than indulging in our love of horror films.  In actuality, the symbolism of tombstones, skeletons and ghosts goes back to the practice of remembering our deceased brothers and sisters... and a reminder to ourselves that we too will die.


To read an earlier post I made giving a brief history of Halloween, click here.


Putting up the Halloween decorations, I kept thinking of my maternal Grandmother, who used to take my older brother and I to the local Hills department store every October for their annual "pumpkin hunt".  They would scatter piles of hay, and hide little plastic pumpkins within the hay... containing candy... and even a few with certificates for store merchandise.  It was like the Halloween version of an egg hunt.  My brother and I loved this annual tradition, and it still makes me smile thinking of going there with Grams -- then off to McDonald's for lunch -- a Happy Meal served in a plastic Halloween bucket.  Anyone remember those?

Thinking so much of Grams, I lit a candle in her honor and for the repose of her soul.  Doing this made me think of another tradition from my youth, this one coming from my first grade teacher, Sister M. Dorothy F.S.S.J.

In my former parish of St. Joe's (now closed), the founding pastor of the parish was given the honor of being buried in front of the Church he helped to build.  Every so often, Sister would take us on "field trips" to the grave site to pray for Father. 

In such a sterile world where we don't "like" to think of death, it seems like an odd custom.  Sister Dorothy was from a different school of thought however, one that encouraged the living to remember those who had gone before us.. to pray for "the souls of the faithful departed".

I decided to light another candle.  This one for the souls who had no one left on Earth to remember them.  This is another aspect of the Catholic faith that has been increasingly swept under the carpet.  It's a beautiful sentiment, to take time to remember those who perhaps have no one left to carry on their memories.  Remember praying for the poor souls in Purgatory??  Yea.. that's becoming "obsolete" too.  

Ironic.. so many "religion" classes teach nothing more about our faith than "community"... yet we have forgotten to include those community members who have gone before us.

While I have certainly hopped on my religion soap box, again lamenting the laziness and secularist tendencies of modern day Catholics.. I assure you there is a reason for my rant.


Regardless of your own spiritual belief system, there are people out there who volunteer to "adopt a gave" at their local cemeteries.  I think this is an awesome practice of human compassion and historical preservation.
  
Every time I go to a cemetery I find a grave stone that is being overwhelmed by vegetation and un-cared for.  Perhaps that person was the last of their family, perhaps no one else lives in the area, or perhaps the grave is so old, there is no one left to remember that person.  Pick a grave or two and help take care of it if you have noticed no one else is doing so.  Give respect once again to the name of the person on the marker.


One day it will be our turn - who will remember us?

Katharine Hepburn

Recently I have been re-reading a biography of actress Katharine Hepburn entitled, Kate Remembered.  It is a personal reflection on the star's life by a writer who became her close friend in the later years of her life -- and though considered a biography, it's written in the form of an informal story or narrative about the time he spent with this great actress.

For me, it's rare to read a book more than once, but it's been a few years since I've read this work, and I enjoyed it so much the first time around.  Reading it is almost like spending time with Katharine Hepburn herself.  Something I wish I had had the chance to do.. along with so many of her fans across the globe I'm sure.

I haven't seen all of Miss. Hepburn's films, only those genres that interested me: historical or romantic comedy.  Desk Set, one of her less popular films is bar far my favorite.  The friendly office atmosphere and quick whit of the co-workers was always the type of setting I wanted to work within professionally... and I just fell in love with character of Bunny Watson - head of the reference department.

And who could forget such films as Woman of the Year, Adam's Rib, Bringing up Baby, The Philadelphia Story, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, The Lion in Winter and On Golden Pond?  Perhaps I have seen quite a few of her movies.. but there are plenty more out there.

What I have always loved about Miss. Hepburn was her down to Earth, no non-sense attitude towards life.  Though she and I would certainly have disagreed on topics of politics, I admired her independence and her forcefulness to live life as she wanted without letting people tell her she "can't" do something.  When told she "couldn't" do this or that because she was a woman.. her reply was usually: "watch me."

When I watch Katharine Hepburn on the screen or listen to the few interviews she did later in her life, I am often reminded of my paternal Grandmother.  Like the biographer and Miss. Hepburn, I did not get to really know my Grandmother until the later years of her life.. in this case, the last three years of them.  This time of course I remember fondly and treasure every moment with her.

My Grandmother was fiercely independent.. not one to let other tell her what to do and what to say.  She spoke her mind (at least in the time I knew her) and lived life the way she saw fit.  I always said there was a "star quality" about my Grandma... not that she was perhaps movie star material.. but she had the quality to be more.  Sadly, she lived in a time when most women were pressured to settle down and raise a family, and as loving as she was, I don't think she was quite the "family woman" in the sense that society dictated at the time.

Grandma forged ahead with a professional career as a well respected nurse, while still being wife, mother and grandmother.  She took care of herself and those she loved.. and managed to do much of it.... at least later in life.. on her own terms.

Katharine Hepburn - and even my Grandmother - came from a generation when people still had ideals, dreams and ambitions.. and were not afraid to WORK for them.  My generation seems content to sit here and expect things to be handed to us (note I do use the term "US" putting myself into this category).  Now more than ever we need examples of people like Miss. Hepburn who weren't afraid to live life and work for success. -- Though, as a quote of Miss. Hepburn's that I often remember... again, very meaningful to my generation who wants it all NOW: "You can't have everything.  Any idiot knows that."

Talk Talk Talk!

*Random topic* :)

I am no sociologist by an definition of the term.. just a casual people watcher.  It's fun to watch people interact - family, friends, strangers.. couples, individuals... all offer a glimpse into the sea of humanity.

I've been spending time with a diverse group of friends lately, as well as my usual encounters with friends at work.  It's so neat to see the varied dynamics that exist between these various social networks of mine.  Take my friend Collin for example.  He and I can gab on the phone for what sometimes turns into an hour.. when perhaps neither one of us has any particular story in mind to discuss when making the call.  For some, the conversation just flows... my maternal grandmother and I were like this as well.  The phone call would start with "how are you?"... and we'd end up chatting about nothing and everything.

With others, the conversations can be deep discussions about concerns, dreams and life stories... where moments of quiet are not awkward silences, but a time for reflection and processing.  Sometimes the physical presence of the other person is all that is needed for communication.

The next time you're out in a crowd of people, or simply hanging out with your bff... take note of the communication occurring around you.  You might be amazed at how each individual, each situation, each group has their own subtle form of communication.

I Did it!!!!

I got an e-mail yesterday from my graduate adviser that my masters portfolio project passed... which means my degree program is complete.  I have graduated from UB's Graduate School of Education!!!

It's odd not having a ceremony to attend... or wear the cap and gown.  The ceremonies can be tediously long, but they give a sense of completion - of finalization to the long journey a person has traveled.  I opted not to attend the commencement this past May since I still had the big project to do.. and it wouldn't have felt right to go through the pomp and circumstance only to go home after and do homework.  Still... my diploma should be sent out in September.

I'm still getting used to the idea of not having homework to do.  This is the first summer in a long time that I haven't been taking classes, and at UB, classes resume for the fall semester in late August.  I'm trying to break back into the habit of reading for fun --- something that has not been possible for quite some time thanks to being overwhelmed with course readings and assignments.  Every time I pick up my book, I get the feeling that I should be doing something that's due for class some time soon.  Old habits are hard to break, but I will delight in breaking this one.

I have met some wonderful professors and instructors over my academic career.  Some of them have been wonderful mentors, friends and reminders of why I love teaching.  Without their patience, understanding and sensitivity, this road would have been a much harder one to travel.

I have to say... here in print.. where everyone can see... that I could not have come this far without the love and support of my family and close friends.  There were many many times when I felt overwhelmed by the work I was doing.  The light at the end of the tunnel seemed so far off for such a long time.  My family -- most especially my parents -- always had faith in me, and my good friends -- especially my Walmart co-workers and UB classmates -- were always there to cheer me on and boost my self esteem when it was so badly deflated.  I owe so many of you a debt of gratitude for your love and support.

The job market for teachers remains turbulent and it seems less and less likely that I will find a position before the start of this school year.  So... I am exploring other options for employment that might not include teaching.  As much as I love the career I worked so hard for, I can't magically make jobs appear, and it's time to be supporting myself and moving forward. There are no plans to go "back" to college for a new degree... I have enough debt from the bachelors and masters to last me quite a while... but perhaps my degrees will open up doors that I had not considered before.  Only God knows.

When I first enrolled in UB back in 2003, I sat on my patio late at night feeling so overwhelmed.  I never thought I'd get through that first semester, yet alone complete two degrees.  Everything seemed to be changing so fast, the work too hard, the campus too big.  I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.  But here I am... looking back.. and I can finally say: I did it!

SimpleThings....

My Dad's Mom used to remind me in her dry/sarcastic way that "small things amuse small minds".  I'm going to have to disagree with that old cliche... some times it's the small things, or the simple things in life that can be pretty cool.

Some things that make me excited are admittedly odd.  I tend to see things in a different light than others.   One such thing is my obsession with using vintage technology (prior to the 1970's) in the everyday life of the twenty first century.  Combine this with my love of classic rotary phones and you have a nerd fest in progress.

Sharing a home with my parents, I also share the usage of our "landline".  Growing up, I would have never guessed that having a "house phone" would be considered optional -- but the wave of mobile phones has made the traditional land line telephones one option among many.  Personally, I do prefer the quality of calls made by land lines over cell phones... and appreciate the reliability and 911 tracking service that you can not get from digital and/or mobile phone service.  I'm also not a huge fan of using my cell phone for making long phone calls... especially when "out and about".  Seriously, do I need to be gabbing with someone while I'm grocery shopping at Wegmans??  If I hear one more person in the bathroom stall talking on their phone I may scream.  Leave me a voice mail.. I'll get back to you.

Cell phones are for Internet (when a computer is not available), texting, and quick phone calls when not at home.  Otherwise.. as my friends know.. I'm calling you from home.

Back to the telephone itself.  I am obsessed with vintage phones.. probably because I have always loved the story of how my grandparents first met.. and I also love the classic look, feel (many older phones are HEAVY) and sound of a classic phone... the zip of the dial and the sound of a real brass bell ringer that puts a cell ringtone to shame.  These workhorses of Ma Bell were built to do one job well.. and to do it for a life time.  I like to keep the tradition going.

Well.. some techno geek out there has helped to make it possible for young-fogeys like myself to keep our retro lifestyles alive.  Someone created a device that allows you to link any house phone to your cell phone via bluetooth!  When I read about it in an online forum I subscribe to, I hopped in the car, drove to Radioshak and bought this little gem.

For my birthday, my Mom bought me a Western Electric 500 telephone in mint green.... green has always been my favorite color.  It's been the phone next to my bed for a little over a month now, and I've loved using it.  While I make most my calls on it (my other living room phone being from the 1940s), my friends won't call me on the house phone.. since they never know who will answer.  It's easier for them to call me on the cell.. the little square that I detest holding up to me ear.  Now.. I have the best of both world. (and yes.. I stole the picture below from the Internet)

You pick up this 40+ year old phone and you will hear a dial tone.. and yes... the rotary dial will dial out (though you need the cell phone's key pad for * and #).  Best of all, when someone calls my cell, and it is linked to the rotary phone.. that great brass ringer goes off instead of hearing the pre-recorded "vintage telephone" ringtone I downloaded years ago.

See.. only I would be excited about this!

So yes, I found another way to preserve a piece of the past while making it relevant to the present.  I was worried about how well the quality would be since the device is a bluetooth after all (which are known for being sketchy)... but the sound quality is EXCELLENT.

Who's giddy with geekish excitement?  That would be me.

Tempus Fugit!

Time does indeed fly.  I can't believe it's August already!!  Soon, my favorite season of the year will be here... FALL!!  Crisp air, hay rides, apple cider, pumpkins, Halloween.... all right around the corner.

For those that haven't yet heard, I did indeed interview for a year long term teaching position at the middle school I have been subbing at over the past school year.  I thought the interview went very well.. I was comfortable, my answers were all well thought out.  I did not make it to a second interview however.  It was none-the-less a learning experience.. I can now be a little more comfortable and prepared for any other future interviews -- but I am disappointed.  This position was the only real hope I had at getting a job away from retail in the near future.. my only real hope of moving forward with my life... and in a school environment I loved and had made friends in.  I just keep telling myself it was not my time.  Patience was always a virtue I lacked!

I've been picking up more hours at the retail hell I've been employed at for the past 9 1/2 years.  Slowly, I've been paying money towards bills that I have accumulated... looking forward to operating in the black for a change, and starting to pay off my massive amounts of student loans.  The idea of having a savings account again is a nice thought.

Since the likely hood of finding a full time teaching position for the fall is slim, I debated doing the retail gig full time.  Even working over 30 hours a week (not that I would be guaranteed that many hours), I'd still be making under $20,000 a year.  That wouldn't help me much in my goal to get an apartment of my own.  Sigh....

Anyway... I just figured it was time for me to update this blog and let people in cyberspace know I am still alive.  I'm still puttering around, searching for a new career, eagerly awaiting the results of my masters portfolio project so I can say I am done with grad school.  Though I have been frustrated with the current job situation, my heart is gladdened by the many family and friends in my life who let me know daily that I am loved.  Sometimes we need to look at what we do have, instead of what we don't have.  A lesson I am trying hard to learn.

Another year older...

That's right.. yesterday my biological odometer turned over yet another number.  I'm now 28.  Lord have mercy I'm getting old!

I had a wonderful day with family and friends.  I woke up to what seemed like a million greetings on facebook wishing me a "Happy Birthday".  I think Facebook is helping to put greeting card companies out of business... since we can now share greetings instantly over the web.

I LOVE getting the facebook and text message greetings.  Just like on Christmas morning... the whole ride home from Mass my phone will be chiming with text messages of warm wishes.  It's a cool feeling to get so many at once, and realize just how many people are in your life.. and care.  :)

My good friend Bob takes me out to lunch or dinner every year.  This year I decided I wanted a WNY staple, beef on weck.  To me, there was only one place to go for that.. Schwabl's in West Seneca.  Yes, it's a bit of a drive for me, but it's worth it.  The food was amazing and we had a good time.

After lunch, the two of us drove to Allen Town to stop at Q for a drink... or two.. or three.  We met two of our friends there and laughed over some wine... and whatever "summery" concoction Bob was drinking.

Pizza and wings were then dished out at my brother and sister in law's home... along with a birthday cake and homemade coconut cream pie!! DROOOOOOOOL!!!  I LOVE coconut cream pie.  My sister-in-law's mother... who is so kind to me... baked it.  She is an amazing baker!!  It always seems as if I'm doing the baking for other people, so it was nice to have someone make something just for me.

I even got my own personal mini-birthday cake, baked by my friend Susan's 12 year old daughter, Olivia.  From what I understand, it was her first venture into the world of baking.  It was so cute.. and delicious!  She can also bake for me any time she wants.  Heck, I can have a whole baking staff now!

Now that I think about it... I don't want to know how many calories I consumed yesterday.  Haha!

I've always heard you shouldn't tell people what you wish for when you blow out your birthday candles, but I'll tell you as long as you promise to keep it a secret.  I wished for a new JOB.  One thing that is glaring in my mind when I reflect upon the last 10 years of my life is the lack of momentum my professional career has had.  I truly want to move forward with my life, have a stable income and get a place of my own (here in WNY if possible).  If I could have one wish.. that would be it.... and world peace and a boyfriend if the genie isn't too busy.